


A Little Love (A Destiel Fanfiction)

by HuntersWearingPlaid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Homophobic John Winchester, M/M, Past Abuse, Slight Internalized Homophobia, past homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 04:33:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17801108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuntersWearingPlaid/pseuds/HuntersWearingPlaid
Summary: Dean Winchester has certain moments of his life memorized. He can see them bright and clear, beautiful and vivid. The day his mother died. The day of his tenth birthday. The first time he kissed a girl. The day he got his driver’s permit. The first time he kissed a guy. The day he moved away from home. The first time he had sex. The day his baby girl was born. The day of the incident. Then he meets Doctor Castiel Novak, Handsome Child Psychiatrist Extraordinaire, who completely throws Dean's life for a spin, bringing back memories he wasn't sure he wanted to bring back...





	A Little Love (A Destiel Fanfiction)

**Author's Note:**

> The lovely artwork for this was created by Huntress79 Thank you, Sandy, you've been absolutely stellar to work with. Thank you to CrazyLadyInVegas for being an amazing Beta! Go give these two a little love!
> 
> This story has been written for the Dean Winchester Big Bang 2019

 

                             

The wait seemed impossible.

Dean had been there twenty minutes now, just standing there. He had one hand on Grace’s shoulder, who had asked him to loosen his grip four times now.

Dean kept unknowingly finding ways to keep himself busy. Tapping his foot. Tapping a finger on Grace's shoulder. Dragging his foot across the floor again and again.

A few minutes after his noisy attempts to calm himself, Grace turned around, shooting Dean a look. After that, she smiled. 

That was all it took Dean to calm down. Grace could see Dean physically drop his shoulders and take a deep breath in. Dean leaned down and pressed a kiss to Grace's head. 

Just then, the receptionist called out Dean's name, signaling for the pair to head inside. 

Grace looked up at Dean, putting her hand in his before both of them walked into the doctor's office. 

The man sitting behind his desk smiled warmly at Dean and then at Grace, getting up from his chair as Dean and Grace walked further into the office. The both of them watched as the doctor walked all the way around his desk, a small smile still playing on his features. 

"Hello," he said, the baritone voice somehow sending a wave of calmness through Dean's body. 

"Hi," Grace said softly, like she'd forgotten she was here to see a doctor. 

The man smiled at that, his eyes crinkling, before he started to speak again. "I'm Doctor Castiel Novak. You may call me whatever you wish. Doctor, Doctor Novak, Castiel, anything's fine." After that elicited no response from either of his clients, he gestured towards the couch in front of his desk. "Please, sit down. Make yourself comfortable." 

Dean suddenly remembered he could move, rushing Grace forward to sit down. 

Doctor Novak remained standing. "I believe it is you," he looked at Grace, "that brings both of you to my office today." 

Dean cleared his throat. "Yeah, it is. Um..." He trailed off, not sure if Doctor Novak was expecting some other information from him.

"Alright. Grace Winchester." Doctor Novak said in a declarative sense. "Would you like to tell me a little about yourself?"

Grace looked to Dean for a minute. After getting a reassuring nod from Dean, she looked at Doctor Novak again. "I'm Grace Winchester. I'm six years old. I like to play with my dog. We call him Moose. Like my uncle." She began, giggling at the last sentence.

Doctor Novak cracked more than just a smile when Grace said that. He looked to the floor before looking up again. "Your uncle's name is Moose?" He asked.

"No, it isn't," Grace said enthusiastically. "Dad just calls him that. Like everybody else."

With just a few words, Doctor Novak had made Grace feel comfortable around himself. She didn't seem nervous at all -- like she had this morning. In fact, it looked as if it was the complete opposite.

All it took was a few words.

Without realizing it, Dean had sunk into the leather of the couch, letting himself exhale for a moment while his daughter did all of the talking.

Before either Dean or Grace knew it, fifty minutes had passed -- which was ten minutes more than the appointed time. Doctor Novak had taken off his coat at some time in the conversation, having leaned on the front of his desk for a majority of their session after that.

It was only when Doctor Novak's assistant had come knocking on the door that anybody realized that their session had ended.

As Grace and Dean walked out of the door, Doctor Novak called out for Dean. "Mr. Winchester?" He called.

Dean turned around almost immediately, lips parted. "Yeah?"

"Could I talk to you for a second? In private?" He asked, cocking his head to the right, giving his face a boyish look — something Dean found a little adorable.  

Dean nodded, telling Grace he'd only be a minute before he stepped back into Doctor Novak's office, shutting the door behind him. "Something wrong?" He asked, shoving his hands into the back pockets of his jeans.

"No, nothing is wrong. Not to worry." Doctor Novak took a few steps towards Dean. "I just would like to know when you'd be free for a private session."

Dean had to admit, he was taken aback by Doctor Novak's question. "What?" He asked, trying to mask his confusion.

"Working with children requires you to have a knowledge of their family, through a parent. I prefer not to do so in the presence of the child. It has upset them on an occasion or two in the past."

"Oh," Dean understood. He thought for a few seconds before answering. "Anytime in the evenings' good." He shrugged.

"Great. Would Thursday evening work for you? Same time? Grace has an appointment before that, but I'm sure it wouldn't matter." Doctor Novak had his hands clasped in front of him. The sleeves of his shirt had been rolled up all the way to his elbows. Dean's eyes fell to Doctor Novak's arms. His gaze stayed there for a second before he looked back up at Doctor Novak.

"Sure," he smiled, nodding.

Doctor Novak asked him another question before Dean could leave. "Could you bring Grace's mother with you? Often, getting another perspective -"

"Oh," Dean cut Doctor Novak off. "Grace isn't - there isn't - she," Dean struggled, trying to string a few words together.

Doctor Novak understood. He nodded warmly, smiling. Then his smile got a little wider. Dean smiled in response as Doctor Novak walked back to his desk. The entire time Doctor Novak put on his trenchcoat and slung his bag over his shoulder, Dean kept the smile on his face.

Doctor Novak smiled again as he walked towards Dean, causing him to take a step back. "You were my last appointment for the day." He informed Dean.

Dean nodded in understanding, walking out of the office as Doctor Novak held the door open for him. Grace walked over to Dean, taking his hand and walking with him. Dean turned around to talk to Doctor Novak one last time. "Have a good night," he said, waving lightly.

"Thank you," Doctor Novak said. "You too. And you, Grace."

"Bye, Doctor," Grace called.  

Dean had to admit, there was something about him.

 

 

Thursday evening, Dean found himself outside Doctor Novak's office again, this time a little cleaner than the last two days. He'd actually gone home and changed after work. Why, he wasn't sure.

Dean waited patiently, the sweet smell of his leather jacket engulfing him.

He watched as a little boy walked out of Doctor Novak's cabin with his mother in tow. The woman gave Dean a small smile, nodding before heading out.

The receptionist looked at Dean once as a signal to let him know he was free to go in.

Dean hesitantly walked towards the cabin, knocking thrice. He opened the door after getting a muffled "Come in," in response.

"Hello, Mr. Winchester," Doctor Novak said on seeing Dean.

"Please, there's no need for that. Dean's fine." Dean offered. He sat down on the couch before Doctor Novak could ask him to, knowing that was what was coming his way next.

This time, instead of standing near his desk, Doctor Novak sat down opposite Dean at the other end of the couch. He looked at Dean and said, "I hope you don't mind. There's no one else here."

"No problem," Dean said, chuckling, a little nervousness having slipped into his voice without his notice.

Doctor Novak had a writing pad in his lap, like every other poncey psychiatrist Sam had made him see.

But for some reason, that feeling of poncey-ness had not expressed itself with Doctor Novak.

Doctor Novak seemed to have noticed the look Dean shot towards the writing pad. He said, "I'm not actually going to write in it. This is just in case." He smiled.

 _In case of what?_ Dean wanted to ask, but he bit his tongue.

Dean's attention went to Doctor Novak's eyes. They crinkled at the corners every time he smiled. He noticed that they were a bright blue. A bright, striking, blue.

"Okay, _Dean_ ," Doctor Novak said, looking at Dean with a sly but cute smirk on his face. "Why did you want to bring Grace to me?"

"She's..." Dean trailed off, not sure if he wanted to divulge all the details of Grace's brittle relationship with mental health just yet. He knew he should. That’s why Grace was getting help. But he still had his doubts. "Having some troubles. She's been having nightmares. She thinks I don't know, but I'm her dad, ya know?" Dean said, his face fallen. "Her teacher at her school, Anna, told me a few weeks ago that Grace seems to have changed. Her attitude towards things, I guess." Dean sighed, looking down at his fingers in his lap.  "I just want my baby girl to be happy."

Doctor Novak was listening intently to everything Dean had said, his head cocked to the side. "Might there be any reason for this? That you can think of?"

Dean shook his head hesitantly. "Not really." He opened his mouth before closing it again. "No," he said once more, quiet.

Doctor Novak observed as Dean fibbed. He drank in the way Dean's eyes had shifted to the right, his teeth biting into his bottom lip. He realized almost immediately that Dean wasn't telling him the full truth.

"Does Grace maintain a relationship with her mother?" Doctor Novak asked slowly.

"Her mother's dead," Dean said, his voice weak. He sniffed, and then cleared his throat. "I mean, it wasn't like I was going to maintain a relationship with her if she was alive, but she was Grace's mother." Dean turned his body towards Doctor Novak. "And one of my best friends."

"I'm very sorry."

 

That night, Dean went home with an assignment for Grace. Before he could get to cooking dinner for the both of them, he placed a piece of paper and crayons in front of Grace. "Could you draw a picture of our family for me?" He said to her, leaning down on the table so his face was level with his daughter's.

"Sure," Grace said, picking up one of the crayons immediately.

Dean was going to head into the kitchen, but he turned back one last time. "Baby," He called out.

"Yeah?" Grace responded, her eyes wide, green, just like her father.

"Who do you consider family?" Dean asked, curious.

"You, me, and Moose," Grace piped. "Oh, and Uncle Sam, and Uncle Jess, and Bella!" She added as an afterthought.

Dean smiled wide at his daughter, walking over a pressing a long kiss to the top of her head. Grace absentmindedly put one of her little hands on Dean's arms, her other hand still clutching the green crayon. Dean kissed her one more time, stroking her hair, before heading into the kitchen to make dinner for them.

He was very pleased with the picture Grace had ended up drawing.

And so was Doctor Novak, when they met next. You could see it on his face. He had a huge smile plastered on, looking at the picture for a good minute.

"Do you like it?" Grace asked.

"It's beautiful, Grace. You've done a very good job." He said, reaching down and booping her nose.

"Thank you, Mr. Novak," Grace giggled. She partly had her body hidden behind Dean's leg, who was nothing short of gushing with pride for his daughter.

Doctor Novak twisted his head to the side, "Grace, are you aware that you have labeled your Aunt as Uncle Jess?" He bent down and pointed to Stick Figure Jess.

Dean laughed. "She calls her Uncle Jess." He told Doctor Novak, "Back then, she didn't understand that different genders got called different things. So, Uncle Jess, it was."

Doctor Novak's face screamed, 'that's adorable.' After a few seconds, he looked back up at Dean, "I appreciate you dropping this off despite not having an appointment."

"Aw, it's nothing," Dean brushed off, the tips of his ears going red. "When's our next appointment?" He asked.

"I'll have a word with my receptionist as to when I have an opening. I have your mobile number, so I shall give you a call and inform you." Doctor Novak said.

"Okay, okay," Dean said, nodding. "Well, I gotta get this little one to Uncle Sam and Uncle Jess," Dean said, smirking shyly at Doctor Novak.

Doctor Novak laughed. "Have fun at your Uncles', Grace," He said to Grace.

Grace smiled wide. She waved goodbye to Doctor Novak as he headed back to his office. She walked with a hop in her step all the way to their car, Dean trailing slowly behind her.

While Grace looked out of the window all the way to her Uncle Sam and Uncle Jess, for some inexplicable reason, there was one thought that was taking up most of Dean's time during the drive.

Doctor Novak was going to give him a call.-

 

The call never came.

Dean waited for two full days, but a call never came. Instead, he received two text messages, both competently worded, regarding his next appointment.

 

**_Doctor Novak:_ **

_\- Good evening, Dean._

_\- I apologize for my radio silence in these past two days. I have been busy. It also took me a little time with Grace's report, which is now ready for you to collect. You can do so in our next appointment? Is Wednesday evening comfortable for you and Grace?_

 

Dean laughed when he read the messages, partly because Doctor Novak did not leave him hanging — as he feared — but partly also because Doctor Novak didn't seem like the type of person to use the term 'radio silence' in a conversation.

Dean quickly typed back a message:

_\- sure thing, doc!_

 

After reading his message a few times, he gaped at the usage of the word 'doc.' Dean didn't understand why, but he sent another message after that:

_\- im so sorry. i meant to say doctor. i don't know why i said that._

 

After a short wait, Dean got a message back:

**_Doctor Novak:_ **

_\- No need to apologize. I am not opposed to the terminology you applied._

 

Dean smiled again, looking up from his phone for a short second. And before his rational mind could stop him, he had already typed a message that he was bound to be embarrassed about for years to come:

_\- :)_

 

Dean put his phone down after swallowing the fact that he had just sent a smiley to his daughter's psychiatrist. He put the phone on the coffee table, letting it fall with a clatter, running a hand over his face, feeling a mix of regret and confusion. As to why he felt too embarrassed. As to why he felt the need to send a smiley face. And even as to why he felt such a rush of excitement when Doctor Novak texted him.

Before he could ponder over it any longer, his daughter came running over, wrapping her arms around Dean's torso. Dean's hand came over her head by muscle memory. "It's 10 o'clock, Grace." He said to her. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"I couldn't sleep." She whispered.

Dean's chest tightened a little. He asked carefully, "Did you... did you have a nightmare, Grace?"

Grace pulled away after Dean asked her that. She looked at him for a moment, before shaking her head no.

Dean pursed his lips, pulling her back into his chest, stroking her hair. "How about you -"

But before he could finish what he was saying, Grace pulled away again, nodding yes this time.

"Yes what?" Dean asked, understanding immediately after. "You had a nightmare?"

Grace nodded again, tears filling her eyes. She clambered into Dean's lap, burying her face into his chest.

Dean's chest tightened even more. He hugged his daughter tight, trying to calm her down. "It's okay, baby. I'm right here, okay? No one's gonna get you." He kissed the crown of her head, holding his lips there for a minute, letting his own tears subside. "Do you wanna sleep next to me tonight?"

"Yeah," Grace got out between sobs, never letting go of Dean's shirt.

Once Grace's crying had subsided, he picked her up in his arms, letting her arms curl around his neck. He tucked her into his bed, changing clothes quickly and climbing in next to her. She was still awake when he got into bed, and she hugged herself to Dean the moment he was next to her.

Dean quietly whispered, "You told me."

"Doctor Novak said it's okay to be scared." She whispered back, before letting herself settle in that position.

Dean's chest tightened again.

 

Next morning, after getting some breakfast into Grace and dropping her off at school, Dean sat in his car, typing out a quick message to Doctor Novak.

_\- hey, doctor_

_\- mind if i called you for a quick minute?_

He turned off his phone because he was sure — given his track record over the past two days — that he wouldn't be able to focus at work if he kept thinking of getting a response from Doctor Novak.

Unknowingly, his phone remained off for the rest of his workday, until he got back into his car to pick up Grace from Sam's place.

On getting there, he saw Sam standing outside, Grace holding his hand, like every day. Sam was still dressed in a three-piece suits from work.

He peeked out of the window, waiting for Grace to walk to the car.

Sam walked over with Grace. "What the hell, man?"

Dean shot Sam a look and jabbed his head in Grace's direction.

Sam rolled his eyes, his mouth open. "I'm sorry. I meant heck. What the heck. I tried calling you four times. I thought something happened." He said.

Dean realized that he'd kept his phone turned off. He thought for a moment, not sure what to tell his brother.

Sam filled in, "Long day?"

Dean smiled nervously, "Yeah."

Sam sighed, a smile on his face, "So you kept your phone shut, and ignored _every_ client call."

Dean grimaced, remembering just then that he gets half of his clients over the phone. "Yeah," he choked out.

"You clearly _have_ had a long day. You wanna join us for dinner?" Sam asked, leaning his hands on the frame of the open window. "Grace, you wanna play with Bella a little longer?"

Grace nodded enthusiastically. She turned to look at Dean with expectant eyes.

Dean smirked, closing his eyes. "Alright." He waved his hand in Sam's direction.

"Yay!" Grace cheered, climbing back out of the car.

Sam watched as Grace went back into the house. He waited for Dean, his hands in the pockets of the suit he still hadn't changed out of. Dean came around the car, walking into Sam's house with Sam in tow.

"So, lawyer boy, you've been so busy you can't even join me for a drink on a weekend?" Dean asked.

"Dean, it was one weekend."

Dean walked right into the kitchen, hugging Jess before she could realize what had hit her.

"Hey, Deano!" She said enthusiastically, patting his back. "Do you and Sam mind going out a getting a few things for me?"

"Not at all. Hit me." Dean offered.

Jess pulled a grocery list off the fridge, handing it to Dean. Dean's eyes widened at the sheer number of items on the list. "Okay," he said loudly. "Come on, Sammy."

Dean hadn't spent time with his brother in over two months. So even if it was just grocery shopping for his sister-in-law, he didn't really mind.

Twenty minutes later, walking through the alcohol aisle, he wandered slowly, looking at everything Target had to offer.

"So," Sam said from behind him, holding a six-pack of beer in his hands. "What's up?"

"What's up?" Dean turned around. "Really?"

"Come on, man. It's been a while," Sam argued.

"Okay. What's been up. Grace's in love with her psychiatrist. She actually told me about her nightmare, too. Just because he told her that it's okay to be scared."

"That's awesome, dude." Sam said, putting down the beer in the cart Dean had been trailing in front of him.

"His name's Castiel. Novak. Doctor Novak." Dean said as-a-matter-of-factly.

Sam pursed his lips. "Cool, I didn't ask, but cool." He shrugged, his hands tucked into the pocket of his suit again.

Dean nodded awkwardly, staring at his brother, neither brother having moved from their position in the aisle. "Cool." He could tell Sam was mulling things over in his head.

After a second, Sam's mouth morphed into a sly smile. "Castiel's a nice name."

"Exactly," Dean said slowly.

"Is he nice?"

"Really."

"What color is his hair?"

"A really deep black."

"What color are his eyes?"

"A bright blue."

"What's his voice like?"

“Deep. Hella calming.”

"Does he look nice?"

"Yeah, he's quite good looking." Dean's hand was now on the back of his neck, rubbing. He could feel his ears getting warmer. He wiggled his toes in his shoes, trying to maintain composure.

Sam didn't ask a question after that. His smile only got wider. "Nice," he said, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. "That's nice."

"What is?" Dean asked, not sure what Sam was talking about.

Sam took a step closer, and then another. He leaned in towards Dean's ear, whispering, "Looks like somebody's getting a little bit of a crush on a guy," he walked away right after, not giving Dean any time to react to his statement.

By the time Dean had fully comprehended Sam's statement, Sam had already made it to the pet supplies aisle.

And like he had forgotten what he had just accused Dean of, Sam turned around after hearing Dean clear his throat, and asked, "You need anything for Moose? I think there's food for Bella on the list. Could you check?"

Dean hadn't moved from his spot. He had a stony face, his hands gripping the shopping cart tight. There was a bead of sweat glistening on his forehead, and his heartbeat had gotten faster.

Sam frowned. "What?"

"I do not have a crush," Dean said in a low voice, flustered.

Sam turned around fully, his hands out by the sides of his body. "It's okay if you do, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, it's okay if I have a crush, but I do not have a crush on my daughter's psychiatrist," Dean said, putting one hand on his hip.

"Okay," Sam said, disbelief dripping from his voice. "Okay, sure."

"I'm not into guys," Dean said with finality.

Sam scoffed. "Oh, please!"

"You think I am?"

"Dude! Benny Lafitte, junior year!"

Dean took a step back. Things started coming back to him. "What about him?"

" _Everybody_ could see the hard on you had for him from _miles_ away," Sam said, straining his voice. "I mean, literal hard on."

"Shut up, Sammy!" Dean said defensively.

"It's okay to admit it. 'Cause we all already know."

Dean looked like a mix of stressed and embarrassed when he heard Sam's words.

"And it's okay. If you're attracted to guys. Nobody cares." Sam pulled a large bag of cat food from the bottom rack, walking over to Dean to drop it into the shopping cart. "Be gay with your daughter's doctor. Or bisexual. Or whatever." Sam said, continuing on his journey down the aisle. "Dog food or what?"

"Dean?" Came a third voice from behind him. Dean knew that voice. Dean liked that voice.

Sam and Dean had been discussing that voice.

Dean turned around slowly, trying to think of something as an excuse as to why he was having a conversation about him.

And there he was, standing there in all his beautiful glory, Doctor Castiel Novak. He had a slightly ashamed smile on his face. "Hello." He said.

"Hi, Doctor Novak," Dean said, his voice coming out choked.

"Oh, fuck," Sam said quietly, hoping in vain that none of the others had heard him.

"Um, it's Castiel outside of work." He politely offered.

"Okay." Dean slapped his hands on the sides of his thighs. "Castiel." He said.

Castiel laughed through a breath. "How many doctors does your daughter have, Dean?" He asked.

"Two," came the response, but from Sam.  

Castiel laughed. "Is he the other one?" He asked Dean. "The one you're gay with?"

Dean's mouth fell open, unable to form words, leave alone construct sentences.

Sam barked a laugh, walking over to the pair. "No. My brother's single." He said, which earned him a mean look from Dean.

"Oh, apologies." Castiel excused himself. "I'm Castiel Novak."

"Sam Winchester."

An awkward silence fell between the three of them. Sam looked back and forth from Dean and Castiel over and over again, his face with a smug grin on it.

It seemed like Dean and Castiel had not stopped looking at each other.

Sam whispered, "Dog food," walking away.

That left Castiel and Dean, standing there frozen in their positions.

Castiel was sans coat today. All he had on was a measly white button-up tucked into his tight jeans.

Dean breathed out through his mouth, finally realizing that he couldn't stay staring at Castiel for the entire evening.

"Grocery shopping, huh?" Castiel asked, a smile on his face. It seemed like a polite smile. A smile he was trying to use to forget their earlier conversation.

"Jess wanted us to get her some stuff." He said, his voice quiet.

Castiel nodded. "You never called me."

"What?"

"You asked if you could call me. But you never did."

"Oh!" Dean remembered his message from that morning. "I'm sorry. I turned off my phone." He said. "Because it was low on battery. Nothing else."

“No problem,” Castiel said. “What did you want to talk about?” He asked.

Dean had to think, because he’d been so caught up in the moment. “Um, I… Oh yes! Grace…” He trailed off again, dropping his voice. He bit his lip. “I can’t say it right now. My brother’s right here.” Not that there was anything about this that Sam didn’t know about, but Dean sure didn’t want him around when he said this. He wasn’t sure why.

“Okay,” Castiel said. “We can talk outside the grocery store if you’d like.”

Dean opened his mouth and then closed it again. “I and Sam aren’t done yet.”

“I can wait.”

So while Castiel waited outside for twenty minutes, Dean tried to rush Sam through the shopping process. So, unfortunately, Sam didn’t get the liberty to spend time on choosing pasta shape. Dean made Sam wait in line at the billing counter, telling him he was stepping out.

He almost ran out to see if Castiel was still standing.

He was. He had his groceries in a bag next to his feet. He was staring into something on his phone, his head cocked — like always — into an adorable expression of confusion. Dean stood there for a second, taking a breath and taking Castiel in.

Castiel looked up from his phone, smiling when he saw Dean. He stood up straighter, walking over.

“Hey,” Dean breathed out.

“Hello,” Castiel said back.

Dean just stood there, hands on his hips, looking at Castiel.

Castiel began, “Didn’t you want to talk to me about something?”

Dean furrowed his brows in confusion, realizing a moment later. “Oh, yes! Grace. Yeah.”

Castiel laughed, “Why else did you think I was waiting for you? You even came.”

Dean did not have an answer to that. He struggled with his words, unsure of what to say.

“That’s okay. Not to worry.” Castiel said for him. “So?” He asked expectantly.

“What?”

“Grace?”

“Oh my god, I’m sorry!” Dean said, touching two fingers to the bridge of his nose.

“It’s alright,” Castiel said again.

“Grace,” Dean mumbled under his breath. He spoke up, “Yesterday, Grace… she told me about a nightmare she had. She didn’t try to hide it. I mean, she did, but she told me right after.”

“That’s really wonderful,” Castiel said, his face lighting up. “Wow, Dean.”

“Yeah.” Dean smiled back, his heart beating faster than normal. “When I asked her about it, she said it was because of you.” He said, stepping closer to Castiel. “She said you told her it was okay to be scared.”

Castiel’s smile got a little wider. “Really?” Dean nodded in response. “Wow, Dean, that is really good!”

“I’d say it’s better than really good,” Dean said.

Castiel nodded, still smiling brighter than ever.

Dean felt like he _had_ to smile, looking at Castiel. It was just…

“Deano!”

Dean closed his eyes and spun on his heel.

“You ready?” Sam said, standing in front of the store, smug as ever.

“Um,” Castiel said from behind him, “I probably took up a lot of time of yours, I’m sorry.”

Dean turned around again. “No, not at all!” He brought his hand to the back of his neck, unknowingly rubbing. He almost giggled after that. Almost. _Almost._

Sam cleared his throat.

Dean said, “I should go.”

“Yes,” Castiel nodded. “Grace’s next appointment is the day after tomorrow, am I right?”

“Yeah, it is,” Dean said, “Good night.”

“Good night, Dean.”

Dean started walking towards where his car was parked, disregarding Sam.

Sam caught up in two steps, sprinting to him. “Dean!” He said. “You’re sure? A hundred percent? That you don’t have a crush on him?”

“Shut your face.”

 

Grace went to her next appointment, and then the one after that, and then the one after that.

Dean, Grace and Castiel fell into a routine.

Grace, more often than not, would be Castiel’s last appointment for the day, so Castiel would walk out of his office with them.

Admittedly, it would take him some time to wrap up, but Dean would try delaying himself and Grace every time so he could talk to Castiel.

In those ten minutes that Castiel finished closing down, signing paperwork for his receptionist, he and Dean would talk. Dean soon came to know that Castiel had _many_ siblings. He found out that Castiel loved burgers. A lot.

Dean told Castiel things about himself too. He would tell him about strange clients that he would meet at work. He’d tell him all the reasons why he loves pie so much.

Dean didn’t even mind waiting for forty minutes in the waiting room, because both Grace and Castiel seemed happy to see him at the end of it.

Dean didn’t know it, but even for Castiel, those ten minutes were very special. He was a very busy man, and didn’t get much time for recreational activities. The time that he spent with Dean a few evenings in a week was very relaxing. It helped him cool down from tending to little kids all day.

Grace opened up more and more about her nightmares, and everything in between them. She talked about Castiel a lot. She told Dean about the things he said, the jokes he cracked, the color of mug he was drinking out of that day. Dean listened intently. He was subjected to sitting in the waiting room while Grace went about her appointment. So he listened to whatever he could.

(She also once offhandedly mentioned thinking Dean and Castiel had gone on a date, but Dean brushed that off immediately.)

Leaving aside all emotions he felt for Castiel, Dean was grateful. He was extremely grateful for the progress that Castiel had made happen for his daughter. And he wanted to let Castiel know.

So, when he knew Castiel would be free, Dean called him.

Castiel picked up on the third ring. “Hello?”

“Hey, Castiel. This is Dean,” He said, his sentence ending in a question.

“Yes, yes. Hello, Dean.” No matter how little time had passed since Dean last saw him, it was always pleasant to hear his voice.

“Hi,” Dean said slowly. He’d been gripping the back of a chair, which he let go of, sitting down on it. “How are you?”

“I am perfectly fine, Dean. How are you?”

“Great! I’m awesome.” Dean said. He wasn’t sure what to say.

“That is good.” Castiel said. A silence passed between them for a few seconds. “Is there a specific reason you called, or did you just want to… chat?”

“No, yes. No!” Dean said all at once. “I did want to talk about something.” He said, gripping his free ear out of nervousness.

“Go ahead, I’m listening.” Castiel said reassuringly.

Dean took his bottom lip between his teeth. “I… I wanted to thank you.”

“What for, Dean?”

“For… for all the effort you’ve put in to make Gracie better.” Dean said.

Castiel laughed. “That is my job.” He said. “But no problem. Grace is a very sweet girl. She deserves everything you have to offer. I am glad I could help.”

Before Dean could say anything after that, he heard the voice of a girl on the other side of the call, “Come on, dude!”

Okay. So he had a girlfriend. That was… nice. Very nice. Dean was sure she was just as good looking as Castiel, who, by the way — Dean told himself — was free to have a girlfriend.

Dean didn’t know why but he didn’t feel so good all of a sudden. His throat felt constricted. He wasn’t sure there was going to be any voice coming out of his mouth.

“Dean?” Castiel’s voice said.

“Yeah,” Dean choked out.

“Is that all?” Castiel asked.

“No, I wanted to,” He swallowed hard, “Call you for dinner.” He said in a very short breath, cutting the call right after.

He put the phone down, putting his head in his hands. He let himself breath for a few seconds.

He picked up his phone, hands shaking, and typed out a message to Sam:

_\- drinks. on me. you know where. 8 pm._

Sam’s reply came an hour later, in which time, he had parked himself on the couch and not moved.

**_Sam:_ **

_\- Dude, you alright? Sure, drinks would be awesome, but it’s a Thursday. Is something wrong?_

 

Dean picked up his phone in one hand, TV remote in the other, and typed a message back to his brother.

_\- fine, dobt come. ill be there_

_\- dont dammit_

 

Grace had already been fed and tucked into bed by the babysitter, so Dean saw no point in waiting till 8 o'clock. He picked up his jacket and keys and got into his car within a matter of minutes.

The entire duration of the ride to the bar, Dean blasted Taylor Swift at ungodly volumes, ensuring that the volume wouldn’t let him think too much.

He ordered himself a beer on tap when he got there, sitting on a barstool, trying to blot out his conversation with Castiel from earlier.

He was three drinks in, a little buzzed, when there was someone tapping on his shoulder.

“Dean,” the familiar voice said.

“Castiel?” Dean asked.

“Yes, hello.” Castiel said. There was a redhead standing behind him, shooting a smile at Dean, which he wasn’t sure he wanted to return.

“Hi!” She said, stepping forward. “Is this Dean?” She asked Castiel, pointing at Dean.

Wait. Castiel had told his girlfriend about him?

Castiel nodded, his expression now one of frustration.

“Oh, wow! Nice to meet you, dude! I’m Charlie.” She said, throwing her arms around Dean for a hug before he could say anything.

He patted her back awkwardly till she pulled away. When he didn’t say anything, Charlie said, “Well, I’m gonna leave you both to it.” With that, she was out of their sight.

“Um, forgive my friend.” Castiel said, sitting down next to Dean without any invitation.

Dean shifted in his seat slightly. “What are you doing here?”

“What are _you_?"

Dean opened his mouth and then closed it again. “Touche.”

Castiel signalled to the barkeep, and then pointed at Dean’s drink. The bartender brought a bottle of whatever Dean was having for Castiel. Dean ordered a fourth for himself too.

“You were saying something earlier when you cut the call.” Castiel reminded Dean.

“What?” Dean asked, turning his body towards Castiel’s.

“Something about wanting to invite me for a meal?” Castiel helped.

“Nah, forget it.” Dean said, bowing his head. “I’m sure your girlfriend would mind.”

Castiel cocked his head to the side, “What girlfriend?”

“Charlie?”

“No, Charlie is not my girlfriend.” Castiel responded, calm as ever. “I have never had a girlfriend.” He said slowly.

Dean snorted. “Lies.”

“It’s true.” Castiel said.

“Well, that just means you’re gay.” Dean said, not sure if he should have made that statement with that much confidence. He wasn't sure he should have made that statement at all. He was positively more than just a little buzzed now.

Castiel nodded slowly, taking a long sip from his bottle. “You’re not wrong. But that doesn’t mean I have had a boyfriend before.”

Dean turned his head towards Castiel. “Really?” His heartbeat had gotten faster, and for some nonsensical reason, Castiel’s previous statement had made him happy.

“Yes. Being a medical student leaves you little to no time to indulge in romantic endeavours. I fail to see how it matters, however.” Castiel said.

Dean scoffed. “There’s no way.” He mumbled.

“There’s no way of what?” Castiel asked.

“Come on, man. That you’ve never had a boyfriend. Look at your stupid face.” He said, pointing towards his face.

Castiel smiled. “Maybe my _stupid face_ is the reason I have never had a boyfriend.”

Dean got up from his stool, standing right at his spot, which happened to be between Castiel’s legs. He took a tiny step closer, like personal space was a concept that didn’t exist.

He bent down, putting his lips right next to his ear. “Stupid just means pretty. But I’m not allowed to say that. I’m not gay,” he whispered, almost hissing the last part. Without giving Castiel any reaction time, he snapped straight up. He put his beer bottle to his mouth, taking sip after sip, downing it as liquid courage.

Castiel stood up right after, a little slowly. “You don’t have to be gay to think I’m pretty.”

By this time, Dean had leaned across the bar right in the bartender’s face, whispering to him, “I want onion rings,” threateningly.

Dean spun around again, resting both elbows on the bar. “I’ve been thinking.” Dean said.

“Go on,” Castiel said, who was now taking a new bottle of beer from the bartender.

“You really are good.” Dean slurred. “Like _really_ good. In… in doctoring.” He said.

“In doctoring?” Castiel laughed.

“Yup!” Dean said, popping the ‘p’. “And otherwise, y’know? In…” He leaned forward dangerously again. He put a hand on Castiel’s shoulder, pulling him closer in. “In looking pretty.”

Castiel laughed. “You’re really drunk, Dean.”

“Gimme your phone,” Dean said to Castiel, disregarding his earlier statement.

Castiel, unsure as to why, gave it to him. He watched as Dean typed something. “What are you doing?” He held the phone when Dean shoved it into his chest, patting it.

“Now I’ll remember tomorrow.” Dean mumbled.

Castiel unlocked his phone to see what damage Dean had done. There was a message he had sent to himself:

- _Dinner tomorrow. Cook something like a good little boy kay?_

 

Castiel wasn’t sure if he should laugh or run after Dean, who had begun walking towards the exit without paying. “I’ll be back to pay for him,” Castiel said to the bartender, running out after Dean.

“Dean,” he called, putting a hand on his shoulder, spinning him around. He saw that his Impala was right there, with someone sitting in the front seat. “You were just going to run out like that?” He asked.

Dean couldn’t stop his next string of words. They were just going to fall out of his mouth, he knew it. Pent up thoughts and feelings he had let brew inside him for _years,_ and now he was letting them all out. To this man whom he didn’t know well enough for this. He looked like he had tears in his eyes. “My dad almost beat my head in when he saw me talking to Benny.” He brought his hands up to his eyes, rubbing his eyes messily. “I didn’t even try anything. Well, I didn’t try much. Benny was straight.” He spat.

Castiel now understood what he was getting at. “Dean, there’s -”

“Ssshh, let me finish,” Dean said, bringing a finger to Castiel’s lips. He kept it there the entire time he talked. “He told me I was a monster. But I hadn’t even _tried_ anything. I wanted to. I just kissed Benny’s stupid smirk off his stupid face. I wanted to take him out for burgers.” Dean said helplessly. “I just didn’t know what to do,” He said, looking straight into Castiel’s blue eyes. “So I told him. I told Dad I didn’t know what to do.”

“Dean,” Castiel tried again. This time, Dean stepped closer to shut him up.

‘Wait,” he whispered. “Dad pulled me out of school. Sammy doesn’t know. He thought I got kicked out. For poor grades. He hit me. A lot.” He laughed quietly. “And then he left.” He said all of a sudden, his expression changing.

Castiel wanted to say something to make Dean feel better, but he wasn’t getting any chances to.

“And then I met Lisa. And _she_ said maybe my dad had a point.” Dean whispered, his face dangerously close to Castiel’s. “So I had to believe her. So I had to do what she told me.” He swallowed. “So I did.”

Dean didn’t say anything for a few seconds, letting the tears stream down his cheeks. “And then Grace was born. And then Lisa killed herself. And then…” He trailed off.

“Dean, will you let me say something?” Castiel asked slowly. He took Dean’s hand, which was right beside his own.

Dean visibly jerked when he felt Castiel’s fingers sliding into his own. He exhaled deeply, looking down at their hands and back at Castiel’s face.

“I am very sorry. That your father made you feel like that.” Castiel said slowly. “But you don’t have to feel like that all your life.” He said, a gentleness laced in the baritone. “You can let go of your father’s prejudices now.”

“Don’t shrink me.” Dean said, his eyes only half open now. And without giving Castiel any time to respond, he leaned in closer, and closer, till his lips were on Castiel’s.

He did nothing, just let it remain a simple brush. But it was enough to bring goosebumps to his skin, even intoxicated.

Dean felt a tug on his arm, from Sam. Sam pulled him away, “Dean, let’s go home,” he said in a quiet voice, helping Dean get into the passenger seat. He gave Castiel a small smile and a nod of the head, before he drove off in Dean’s home’s direction.

“Goodnight, Sammy,” Dean said, before he let his body do the talking.

“Dean,” Dean heard, before he couldn’t hear anything else.

 

Dean awoke the next morning in bed with a splitting headache. That’s funny, he didn’t remember falling asleep in it. He didn’t remember much of what happened last night. He had a faint recollection of a dingy bar, though.

He ran a hand through his hair, rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before he rolled over, reaching for his phone from the bedside table. Aside from the fact that his phone was running on low battery, there were notifications of texts from three different people.

There was a message from his boss asking him what he was planning to bring to the office Christmas party. He ignored that message.

  
There was one from Sam:

_-Dean, there’s a smoothie for you in the fridge. Have that after the aspirin I left on your bedside table. I dropped Grace off to school and I’ll pick her up also. I told your boss you’re sick, so you don’t have to go into work. Take the day for yourself, Deano. Rest up._

 

Dean smiled internally about Sam’s concern for his well-being. He’d completely let it pass him by as to when he went from chubby twelve-year old Sammy, to this responsible thirty two-year old, Sam Winchester.

He idly picked up the aspirin from the table, rolling them between his fingers as he got up to reach for the glass. Once he had downed the liquid, he went back to read the third message.

It was a message from Castiel, rather crude for his taste. Castiel didn’t seem to be the type of person to talk like this. But the contents of the message scared him a little. Nay, they scared him a lot.

He was coming over for dinner tonight.

Good thing he had the day off.

Dean ran a hand over his face, his mouth open. He cursed under his breath, running a hand through his hair repeatedly.

He wasn’t sure it was last night’s alcohol that was making him nauseated anymore.

 

Of course, Sam had left Dean a smoothie that was green. And that tasted like ass. Dean didn’t bother to take more than one sip of it, instead pulling bacon out of the freezer for breakfast. 

He hadn’t seen Grace that morning. He hadn’t gotten to kiss her goodbye or pack her lunchbox. He was also a little surprised that she hadn’t woken him up for a goodbye hug. Something coiled in his stomach, uneasiness from equal parts of hangover, and my-daughter-is-growing-up syndrome.

Dean spent the entire morning trying to find a way out of dinner tonight. And it wasn’t like he _couldn’t go._ Someone was coming over to his house. Not someone, Castiel was coming over to his house. He paced and he paced, brainstorming bad situations to put himself in.

That was, until his phone rang. He picked it up without glancing at the Caller ID. “Yello?” He said, surprisingly cheerfully.

“Um, _yello,_ Dean. This is Castiel.”

Dean’s stomach dropped. He gripped the backrest of the couch, his mouth falling open.

“Dean?” Castiel asked, when Dean gave no response to his earlier statement.

“Give me a second,” Dean said, pulling the phone from his ear as he heard a muffled ‘okay’ from the other side of the line. He put the phone on the counter, taking deep breaths. After a few seconds, he smiled wide, bringing the cheer back into his system as he put the phone back to his ear. “Yeah,” he said.

“Good morning.” Castiel said. Dean smiled a little at Castiel’s formality. He was always so courteous. Dean loved it.

“Good morning, Castiel,” Dean said back, trying to maintain the level of formality.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine,” Dean paused for a moment. “How are you?” He asked slowly.

Castiel chuckled. “I am good this morning, Dean.” Dean sighed, still smiling, plopping down on the couch. “I asked you because of what transpired last night.”

Dean wasn’t quite sure exactly what Castiel was referring to. Yes, he remembered being out for drinks, but that was about it. He saw familiar faces and voices, but they all kind of blended into one. He now realised that Castiel was definitely there. Yes. That made sense as to his text, too. He simply said, “Oh,” letting Castiel say something further to clear his confusion.

“How is your head?” Damn, Castiel wasn’t giving him the details. Looks like he was going to have to ask.

“It’s fine.” Dean said, tugging on his free ear. He wanted to sound as discreet as possible. “Hey, Castiel, how do you feel about last night?”

Castiel laughed, a little more clearly this time. “That’s my line.” Dean laughed along nervously. Castiel continued. “Do you want me to be honest, Dean?”

“Yes, please,” Dean said, not sure if he was ready for Doctor Novak - not Castiel - to tell him how he felt about… that which he did not remember.

“I feel like you needed to get all that off your chest for a long time coming. I could sense that you had kept all those emotions pent up for so long. I am guessing all of it happened in high school. That is a very long time to feel such emotions so deeply, Dean. And I am glad that you let them out.”

High school. Dean told him about high school?! Something that happened in high school? Emotions? 

He was trying to think of what it was. And he was trying not to think of the one thing that stood out to him. He kept trying to ignore it. But he was almost positive that was what it was.

“Benny,” he slowly whispered.

“First love hurts, I understand.” Castiel said comfortingly. Dean was getting a feeling that Castiel was telling him all of this as a friend, and not as a doctor.

Dean’s heart was beating fast. ‘First love,’ he had said.

Castiel didn’t say anything for a minute or two. It was almost as if he was giving Dean time to process his words.

When he spoke, his voice was soft. “Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“There was something I wished to discuss with you.”

“Yeah?”

“Could we meet in my office today? It’s a Friday, and I have only one appointment in the afternoon.” Castiel cleared his throat.

“Yeah.”

“Do you have any appointments around five p.m.?”

“No.”

“Shall we meet at that time, then?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, then. I will see you at five p.m.”

“Yeah.”

Yeah. No. That was all Dean had managed to get out in his conversation with Castiel. His head was spinning. Dean had told Castiel about Benny. _Dean had told Castiel about Benny._ And clearly that meant that Castiel knew all about his fucked up childhood.

Dean was not sure how he passed the time till he had to go visit Castiel. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to. But he had to. Castiel had asked him to.

He’d gotten a call from Sam earlier saying that he’d picked up Grace from school, and that she was napping at his place now. Dean wanted to go to Sam’s place and pick up Gracie. He hadn’t seen her at all today. He hadn’t seen her last night either. He missed his daughter. He wanted to kiss her and tell her he loves her.

But he had to go and visit Castiel instead.

All the way on the drive to Castiel’s clinic, all Dean could think about was the extent of the things he’d told Castiel.

He still hadn’t told him the _real_ reason he was sending Grace to him. Why she’d been nightmares. He felt like an irresponsible parent. He should have told Castiel. It was his duty, as Grace’s father. He wasn’t sure if Castiel had realised that there was something Dean hadn’t told him.

He decided that he would tell Castiel today. It made him nervous. His hands went cold, and he kept gripping the steering wheel too tight for comfort, to stop the shaking.

He was sure he was going to end up crying. But there was nothing he could do about that. Castiel was a psychiatrist. He would understand.

When he walked through the doors of the clinic, he saw Castiel standing at the receptionist’s desk, some papers in his hand. There was a pair of glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. They made him look even cuter.

Nice. They made him look nice.

He smiled stupidly when Castiel saw him. “Hi,” he said, waving.

“Hello, Dean. Would you like to head inside?”

“Sure,” Dean mumbled, following Castiel into his cabin. This time, instead of inviting him to sit on the couch, he gestured towards the chair in front of his desk. Dean sat down, watching as Castiel took his place in the chair across him.

“So,” Castiel interlaced his fingers, placing them on the desk. “Dean, I would like to discuss something with you as your daughter’s psychiatrist. Rather than your friend.”

Dean blinked, taking Castiel’s statement in. He didn’t say anything.

“Since my appointment with you — just you — I’ve noticed a slight tension in the way you’ve talked to me,” Castiel said, choosing a slow pace with his words.

Dean started to understand what Castiel was talking about. Had he realised all his nervous bantering was because he… he had a crush on him? He refused to admit it himself. It was going to be a pain getting confronted about it. By _Castiel._

“Is there something you’re not telling me?”

Dean’s heart began to beat faster. “Wh- what?”

“About Grace? Something you’re not telling me about why you’re bringing her to me?”

Oh. This was what.

He was still at a loss. This was where he told Castiel everything. He didn’t want to.

He shifted in his chair, gripping the armrests tight.

Castiel sighed. “You can take your time. But I’m Grace’s _psychiatrist_. It is best if I know, don’t you think so, Dean?” He got up from his chair, coming around the desk and sitting down in the chair next to Dean’s. “And perhaps, telling me will help alleviate some of your tension as well.”

Time to rock and roll.

 

It was fucking hard.

Dean didn’t hold himself back. He told Castiel everything.

He told him how his father came back into his and Grace’s life suddenly one day, after absolutely no communication beforehand. He told him how John had treated Grace like the most precious thing in the world. He told him how he had been pulled aside by John after dinner to be told that he was unfit father because of his… condition. He told him how he came home from a morning run one Sunday to an empty house. No sign of his father. No sign of his baby girl.

He told him how he looked for days. _Weeks._

At some point during his much needed meltdown, Castiel made his way to the chair next to Dean’s, putting one comforting hand on his back. He moved it up and down as Dean let all the tears out, as he felt all those emotions once again. Larger than before.

Dean told Castiel how much pain he felt. He told Castiel how much more pain he felt when the authorities found John. And his Gracie. Safe, but scared. He told Castiel how much he promised never to let Grace out of his sight; how much courage it had taken him to put Gracie in preschool.

Castiel listened. Castiel pulled his chair closer to Dean’s, and he let Dean rest his head on his chest as he sobbed.

But after a while, he had to talk to Dean. So after a few minutes of letting Dean let it all out, he sat up straight, trying to send the message across to Dean.

Dean got the message. He sat up straight too, wiping his face with the long sleeves of his jacket. He sniffed, trying to compose himself after all that.

“Dean,” Castiel began.

What was Castiel going to say now? What was going to happen? Was Castiel going to reprimand him for leaving out so much important history from him? Was he going to blacklist him and Grace for being a dishonest client? Dean tried to listen to what Castiel was saying, but his head was swimming with what he _thought_ was coming out of Castiel’s mouth.

He tried to pay attention to what Castiel was saying.

“... happened two years ago. It is astonishing how Grace has been affected by it so little. Most children in a situation like hers would have developed PTSD on some level. Did she know she was in danger?” Castiel looked at Dean with concerned eyes.

Dean blinked starkly. “You’re not going to kick me out?” He asked softly. “For not telling you?”

Castiel shook his head. “It is my duty to help my patients Dean. You are not the first client who has withheld information from me. This can happen due to various psychological reasons.” Castiel stood up, pouring a glass of water from the pitcher sitting on his desk. “You are not my only patient, Dean, I’d like to think you are also my friend.” He smiled, and Dean was _really_ sure he saw a wink.

Dean accepted the glass of water from Castiel and drank slowly, keeping it in his hand once he was done. Castiel took it out of his hands, letting his fingers brush against Dean’s.

Castiel continued, “Friends wait. I waited till you were comfortable to tell me what you needed to.” He sat back down, his body leaning towards Dean. His eyes were focused on Dean’s greens, and they looked warm. Comforting. Beautiful. Dean smiled a little simply looking at them. Castiel put his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

Dean snapped out of his stupor. “What?” He could feel the heat of Castiel’s palm through the thin material of his t-shirt. It made something pleasant coil in his belly. He felt supported. He felt… confident.

“Did Grace know she was in danger?”

“No.” Dean said, shifting slightly in his seat. “She knew he was her grandfather. She had even started calling him gramps.” He smiled, playing with his fingers.

“That explains it,” Dean heard Castiel mumble. Castiel took in a sharp breath, clearing his throat as he let it out. “Dean, would it be alright if I talked to Grace about this? Just to a point where she’d be comfortable with it, of course.”

Dean nodded, still not looking at Castiel. The hand on his shoulder was still there, the thumb now gently stroking the area, forward and back. Dean had his attention on the hand. He was feeling its motion, letting himself think under Castiel’s comfortable caress.

Castiel let him.

  


It was Dean’s phone ringing that finally caused some activity in Castiel’s office. Until Dean got up to pull his phone out of his pocket, he and Castiel had simply sat in Dean’s pain, not saying a word. Castiel had had his eyes closed. He was giving Dean his time to straighten himself out.

Castiel watched as Dean went over to the window to talk to...

“Sammy?”

Sammy.

“Is Gracie awake now?” Castiel heard. He wasn’t sure if this conversation was for his ears, but he had to sit there.

“I haven’t seen her all day, Sam.” Dean sounded desperate. “I’m with Castiel.” He cleared his throat. “I’m with Doctor Novak.” Dean listened for a few seconds, his voice dropping an octave when he spoke next. “Shut up, he’s right here.”

Castiel squinted, cocking his head in Dean’s general direction. So clearly Dean’s brother had some things to say about him. Well, everybody is entitled to an opinion.

Dean huffed. “Okay, fine. I’ll come in half an hour. Bye.” He shoved his phone back into his pocket as he turned around, a sheepish look on his face. He chuckled nervously. “Was there something else you needed to discuss with me? I’ve already taken a lot of your time.”

Castiel smiled, “I don’t mind sharing my time with you, Dean.”

Dean felt funny. A nice funny. His ears felt warm.

“But we should get going.”

Dean waited for Castiel to wrap things up, trying to make useless small talk to forget what had transpired between them in the last two hours.

Dean was in the middle of telling Castiel about this amazing place for potstickers, when Castiel stopped him. Castiel put his hand on Dean’s arm. “You do not have to try to alleviate the tension between us. There isn’t any from my side.”

“Oh,” was all Dean could muster before he was following Castiel outside the building.

As he started to walk towards his car, he noticed that Castiel stood in his place, looking into his phone. Maybe he was waiting for his friend. “Waiting for someone?” He called out.

Castiel smiled, waving his phone. “Just calling a cab. Please proceed to your destination, Dean.”

Dean rolled his eyes fondly at Castiel’s choice of words. He was always so proper with his vernacular. He smiled as he walked back to Castiel. He didn’t even ask. “I’ll give you a ride home, come on.”

Castiel smiled wider. “There is no need for that.”

“Come on, it’s no big deal!” Dean said, smiling. He pulled Castiel along by the arm before he could say anything in protest.

He could hear Castiel laugh a full belly laugh behind him. It was like music to his ears. “Do you even know where I live?”

“Show me the way,” Dean said quickly, stopping in his tracks.

“Um,” Castiel began, “It’s on the corner of Vas —”

Dean wasn’t listening. He was only thinking about that laugh. And the way Castiel had put his hand on his shoulder earlier. And how he says his name. He couldn't hide from it any longer. He liked Castiel. Yup. He liked Castiel.

He turned around, determined to say something, his mouth open. He was met with an open-mouthed Castiel, eyes crinkling at the corners. “Yes?”

Dean smiled wider. “Nothing. Just show me the way as I drive.”

“You’d be going out of your way, Dean,” Castiel said.

“That don’t matter, Cas,” Dean said. For some reason, his sudden awakening had left him feeling unreasonably happy.

“Dean,” Castiel said, almost like playful reprimanding.

When both of them were strapped in in Dean’s Impala, Castiel turned his head to Dean. “I like Cas.”

“What?” Dean asked.

“You called me Cas back there, I liked that.” Castiel said, and this time, Dean could _bet_ Castiel winked.

Dean shrugged his shoulders as he started the car, giving Castiel — Cas — the liberty of picking a radio station. Castiel picked a station playing jazz classics. He hummed lightly between telling Dean directions, and they drove in comfortable silence.

When they stopped in front of Castiel’s house, Dean realised it was just a few blocks down from Sam and Jess’s house. He could go pick up Grace directly from here.

Before Castiel could get out of the car, Dean stopped him, putting his hand on Castiel’s where it was resting on the edge of the seat. “Listen, Cas,” Dean said.

Castiel shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. “Yeah, Dean?”

“Thanks. Thanks a lot. For helping Gracie.”

“It’s my job, Dean, you don’t have to thank me.” Dean watched intently as Castiel’s lips broke into a smile. Dean licked his own lips, unable to peel his eyes of Castiel.

“And also for, y’know, back there. For listening to me. Even though I’m not your patient. Just… for being there, I guess.” Dean shrugged, smiling gratefully. Dean pulled his hand away from being on top of Castiel’s, his heartbeat getting faster by the minute. He felt the adrenaline surge through his body. This seemed like a good time. Yeah.

Castiel’s smile got even wider. “I’m your friend, Dean. Again, friends do that for each other.” He turned his body towards Dean’s, dropping his voice to just shy of a whisper. “It’s very important to let feelings out. And it’s important to have people to listen. It’s important to be there for your friends. Plus, a little extra love never hurts —” He could say no more.

Dean’s lips were on Castiel’s, his hand cupping Castiel’s cheek gently. He pulled away before it could go anywhere, but was pulled back in immediately. Castiel tugged on Dean’s hand to bring him back, grabbing his face with both hands. He gently slipped his fingers into Dean’s hair, losing himself in the heat of the moment. When Dean pulled away, he sat back upright, a big smile on his face, out of breath.

Castiel smiled to match Dean’s, out of breath himself.

Dean said, “I thought, we were gonna, dinner. I invited you,” he said, fumbling with his words.

Castiel leaned back, the back of his head touching the headrest of the seat. “I can get ready quick.” He smiled shyly, “Don’t you have to pick up Grace from your brother’s?”

“Yeah,” Dean said, playing with his fingers, “I can pick her up and come back for you,” he said.

Both of them looked at each other like lovestruck idiots for just a moment, before Castiel cleared his throat, getting out of the car. Dean sat up straighter, starting the car.

He watched as Castiel walked all the way to the front door of his house, before turning around and walking back to Dean.

Dean rolled down the window. Castiel quickly pressed his lips to Dean’s, whispering, “I didn’t think you liked me too.”

“It took me a while myself,” Dean whispered back, waving goodbye as Castiel entered his house.

Dean was quick to pick Grace up, stopping only for a second to talk to Sam. He did mention something about dinner with Castiel, and also elbowed Sam when he made suggestive noises.

Castiel was already standing in front of his driveway when Dean drove up.

Castiel quickly kissed Dean when he got into the car. “This is okay, right?”

“Yeah!” Dean beamed, rolling his eyes when he heard a tiny whisper of ‘I knew it!’ from the back seat.

“You like Chinese?”

“I can do Chinese.”’

Yup. This was gonna be good. Him and Castiel. This was gonna be awesome.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
